Two Steps Forward....(Library)[Suspended]

Jasper Warren ran his fingers through his hair as he glanced around at the massive shelves. It fell back in front of his face a moment later, only adding to his discomfort. The library at his high school had been about the size of the bathroom here, and even after a year of attending he still managed to get lost quite frequently. He refused to ever ask for assistance however. That was like reading an instruction manual: for the weak only. He could find what he needed eventually. It just... took a while.

A freshman accidentally bumped into him as he was passing by. He was actually taller than Jasper by a few inches, yet still looked quite perturbed. Jasper knew he wasn't exactly tall, so this was a rather common occurance.

"I'm so sorry!" he cried, watching the few books Jasper had in his hand clatter to the floor. They all had titles like The Mind at Work: What does your thought Process Say About You? and The Affect of Hormones on the Teenage Brain. He reached down to pick them up, and Jasper grabbed the one or two that had fallen to his feet.

"No problem," he said, flashing the younger boy a cute, friendly smile. The boy glanced away, looking nervous, then quickly dashed away. He was cute, but a little too much of a busy-body for his type. Jasper found himself alone again, back to glancing around, trying to find the sections he was looking for. He was trying his best to appear of more of a browser then actually being lost, but it was impossible for him to decide if he succeeded. Apparently he had an "interesting expression" when flustered, and unsure if that was positive or negative, decided it was better to avoid it all costs then finding out.

There was so much to do, so much to study, yet he could barely remember where it all came from. It was like he was left in a wandering slumber. Every day came and went in a flash and washed away like a setting sun. The only proof that he attended his classes was the piles of homework he had laying before him and while he should have been completing it, he really didn’t feel like doing it. His gaze dropped to the disaster scattered across a table big enough for a crowd, scanning the questions and beginnings of essays and none of it made sense, just letters, numbers and symbols scribbled on paper. There really was no point in attempting to understand a damn thing they might say.

A bit disappointed and a tad frustrated, he turned away from the mess. Looking at it was making him sick. His eye scanned the rows of bookshelves just in front of his table and the books waiting on those shelves messed with his OCDs like no other. The colors didn’t match, they all had different heights, and some stuck out over the edge while others were tucked in; if only he could fix them! His own books were stacked by genre and in alphabetical order, each book sat specifically an inch away from the edge, whether it could have gone all the way to the back or not, and each series was purchased as a set with matching cover designs. Sure, there were a few height differences, but at least his weren’t as erratic as the books on these shelves. He could live with that, but thinking about either set of bookshelves was no helping his mind relax, or maybe that was the problem, his mind was too relaxed.

With an exaggerated exhale Shou placed his hands on the edge of the table and pushed his chair out. Around to the other side to get close to those irritating shelves he went, making sure, or at least trying to advert his eyes away from the mess on them. Dazedly he approached the end of one and slid a finger down the antique wood, admiring the elderly grain. “Boring,” he whispered and dropped his hand to his side as he began to aimlessly wander the library, leaving his mess on the table.

Apparently the library gods were not smiling down on Jasper that day. After another ten or so minutes of searching he had managed to find one book that interested him. That book however, managed to be just up high enough that it was beyond his reach. Why anyone felt book shelves should require ladders was beyond him, but he currently was raised up on his toes, practically pressed against the books as he tried to reach up and grab it, hoping beyond hope no one was there to see him. His fingers could just barely brush the spine, but it wasn't enough to be able to grab it and pull it down.

Just when he was about to give up on it and continue his hunt, he turned and noticed a man about his age walking by the aisle. He was taller than him, but only just. It was that extra inch or two however that was going to be his saving grace. He thought for a moment, then decided the book was worth feeling a little embarrassed.

"Um, excuse me!" he called, quickly walking over to him. Jasper realized that on closer inspection he was actually rather cute. Perhaps this wasn't such a bad thing after all.

"Ah, sorry," he started, looking a bit sheepish. "Erm, I'm a college student here and I was trying to reach for a book on one of the higher shelves, but my attempts have been a bit unsuccessful. You're a bit taller than me so... would you mind getting it for me if you have a minute?" He was waiting for a laugh or a snide remark about masculinity, which only added to his general embarrassment. He didn't look directly at the boy but sort of glanced around, a bad habit he usually had whenever he felt that way.

He couldn’t help keep his eyes from the shelves and the mess on them. He even stopped to tilt a few books upright… every time he passed one or two. A couple of times he had to stop himself from grabbing the cart and putting the books back where they belonged. Neat freak? Nah, not really. He just liked everything organized, so he couldn’t quite help himself, therefore, he was in the middle of tipping another book up. His blue eyes rolled when he realized what he was doing. Where the hell was that librarian? He sighed and released the book only to continue his journey.

“Um, excuse me!” a voice called.

It startled him a bit, though he really shouldn’t have expected to be the only being here. Actually, he did recall someone a few rows down from his table, snatching a few books and scurrying off. The corners of his mouth turned up a touch while he mocked himself for being so scatterbrained… yet he was doing it again wasn’t he?

He turned his full attention to the other right in time to hear the request. “Sure,” he said with a nod and stepped over to the bookshelf.

His eyes glanced over the shelves; this one wasn’t quite like the others. This one looked nice. A strange bit of happiness washed over him and he looked over at the other with a pleased smile on his face, but it slightly faded from sudden confusion when he focused on him. There was something about this guy. Perhaps, it was his pretty eyes (Shou was always a sucker for blue eyes), or possibly the wisps of hair in his face, or how innocent he seemed. Whatever the reason, he was taken aback, unable to spit anything out.

Flustered brows turned inward and he quickly pulled his eyes to the bookshelf, “Which one is it?”

Jasper smiled, grateful for the helpful attitude.

"That one," he answered, pointing at the book that was just above their heads. He was really hoping the guy wouldn't read the title and just hand it to him, although that was sort of impossible. It was called The Nurture Assumption: Why Children Turn Out the Way They Do and while it wasn't as bad as it could have been (he had a book in his backpack at the moment titled Without Conscience: The Disturbing World of the Psychopaths Among Us) who knows what conclusions could be drawn from a book like that.

"I don't um-" he started, but then realized explaining himself might be just as awkward as saying nothing at all. "I'm majoring in Psychology," was what he ended up saying instead of "I don't have a kid if that's what you're thinking." He wasn't really sure why he was feeling so awkward really. He wasn't normally like that. Talking to people was easy for him, a simple task of communication. People loved him for his ability to start an easy going conversation. This wasn't creating the right first impression at all.

He easily plucked the book from the shelf and happened to read the title as he brought it down. A curious right brow lifted, but instead of questioning it for long, he answered: Because of their parents. He gave a side glance in the opposite direction of blue eyes to thwart off the sudden flashes of memories. While his childhood wasn’t the worse it could have been it wasn’t all gumdrops and rainbows and who best to blame it on that the parental figures in his life.

“Psychology, huh?” he said as he handed him the book. Psychologists and psychiatrists weren’t on his life of top ten favorites, though he did give them credit for being able to withstand the tortures too many people went through these days. Really their only downfall was how easily they could be manipulated. It was so easy to fake happiness, at least he was able to do it and they always believed him. Yet career choices were not how one should judge another, so he banished his opinions to the back of his mind, not to mention his own career involved helping others, just in a different way. “I’m studying teaching. Actually, I plan to teach here at Alculard after I graduate,” he smiled proudly. “Oh, and I’m Shou, by the way.”

Jasper grinned, looking genuinely impressed.

“Thanks Shou,” he said, motioning to the book while simultaneously trying the name out. “I’m Jasper. A teacher is the noblest profession out there I think. That’s really, really cool.”

He had caught that flicker of expression as Shou had first glanced at the book title, and his mind instantly went reeling as to what it could have meant. Perhaps he had children himself. It was possible in this day and age, although highly unlikely. Maybe he had a bad home life, or maybe he just didn’t believe in the practice of psychology. There were a few people out there who truly believed the human brain was beyond help, that there was nothing that could be done. Or maybe he was just the kind to let his mind wander and Jasper was, once again, over analyzing everything like he tended to do. Nasty habit.

“Do you have a subject or age group in mind yet?” he asked. Then he thought for a moment and added, “Oh, and do you mind if we walk back to my table so I can put these books down? If I carry more than three at a time people will start to suspect I’m a good student, and that would just ruin my reputation.” He was obviously joking, or at least he really hoped it was obvious. Wouldn’t want this cute guy to think he was a slacker or a delinquent or something.

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