Forgive us our trespasses [Private]

Mircea sighed, feet burrowing into the sand as he sat down at last. He was far enough away from his school, closer to their rival academy, really. But it was quiet here, with no traffic, no little sisters to brag about their newfound love lives... He frowned, remembering what Arai had said about her newest boyfriend. That one would be trouble. He could feel it.

The Blue Blood laid his leather jacket on the sand beside him, his socks and shoes on the other side. Staring out at the water, he let his mind wander. Whispers of a million lives, secrets, desires, hatreds, fears...so many voices. It was suffocating. And he couldn't escape. Did he really want to? This was what he was; the vessel that held knowledge of all that was hidden or lost. As far back as he could remember, to his own creation, he’d suffered the weight of his position. And he was no closer to escaping now than those millions of years (by human standards) ago.

He closed his eyes, the voices of the billions of this Earth’s inhabitants fading away as memories of his past shot through his mind. Two, three memories at a time, never ceasing, never granting him a reprieve from the remembrance of his sins. This…this was what so often made him wish he could end his life permanently. But no…even that escape was one that would forever be denied of him.

Gritting his teeth, he fought to hold back the tears that were making his eyes sting. This wasn’t the place to cry. There was still a chance that someone might happen upon him. And he had no right to be comforted by anyone. He wiped angrily at his eyes. Stop crying, Vassago. You are the Gatekeeper. Misery is your companion, remember? Stop crying, damn you.

The breeze felt so nice as he walked along the beach. The sand between his toes, the sounds of the waves crashing along the coast, the sbriny smell of the sea air. All relaxed him as he wondered aimlessly beneath the full moon. No one but him, only one set of footprints. There were distant whispers, telling him that there once used to be two, but he didnt remember their faces their names. Anything about them really.

He sighed. This sucked....truwly it did. He hated not being able to remember his life. But at least he woke up every day and knew who he was. what his own name was. And he thanked the god above for that.

A small smile picked at the corner of his lips as he began to hum to himself, the sound barely audible over the waves, but one he could still hear himself. Where the hymm came from he wasnt sure. It just felt right.

His eyes snapped open at the sound of the humming. Damn it! He wiped at his eyes again and grabbed his things. Standing, he brushed himself off and was about to leave when he caught a glimpse of the approaching figure. He froze, eyes widening. That face... The memory of a drawing flashed before his eyes. A drawing he'd done of an angel he didn't remember. Raziel, Keeper of Secrets, Archangel...hated by many of the Fallen.

His grip on his shoes and jacket loosened, sending the articles to the sand. As soon as his mind registered the identity of the man before him, his body stood at rigid attention. "Raziel..."

Upon hearing his name, his head snapped up, the hum pausing on his lips as he looked at the man before him who stood at rigid attention. There was a moment of silence before amethyst orbs narrowed in confusion.

"I'm sorry, but do I know you?" he asked softly, the familiar feeling of confusion and panic flowing through him again. Gods if he stumbled across yet another person he didnt know....or that he had known before tbut had forgotten....gods he couldn't take this anymore. It was tearing him apart, hurting all these people because he couldn't remember them. He wished that this curse would just vanish and give back what he wanted so desperatly.

He frowned, thinking about it. "...Probably not. I am Vassago, who finds things lost and hidden. A fallen angel, turned Blue Blood." He bowed politely, never taking his eyes off the Archangel who seemed so familiar. Why couldn't he remember? This was unusual for him. He tended to have trouble forgetting.

He let out a small sigh of relief, but the relief was overwhelming. He hated coming across someone whom he had met in the past and yet didn’t remember them in the current day.

“Vassago-san. It is a pleasure to meet you then.”He smiled as bowed slightly in greeting, and it was then that the rest of the man’s words caught up with him. “Wait? You’re a fallen?” Amethyst orbs brightened as an excited expression overpowered his face. “Oh my…..Gods this is amazing! I finally found one!” he laughed as he allowed the excitement to reign free for a moment before sitting down beside the angel. At his utter confused expression, Raziel chuckled slightly.

“Forgive me, but I was beginning to think that I wouldn’t ever find any of you. All the Fallen seem to be hiding…either that or avoiding me. I’ve been searching for the other fallen angels to try and see if they remember any more than I do. Also to try and get caught up on current events as to what’s going on in heaven as well as here on Earth. Do you think you can help me?” He asked softly, the still bright, almost innocent smile flashing across his face. HIs black bangs falling into his eyes before a pale hand brushed them behind his ear as he eagerly awaited Vassago's answer.

He took a half step backward as though the Archangel's excitement was enough to knock him over. After listening to Raziel's explanation, he continued standing like that for another moment before attempting an embarrassed half-smile. "I see...is that all? Here I was worried you'd heard of me." He knelt about a foot away from the Archangel, gathering his things to himself silently.

Gently shaking the sand from his jacket, he pulled it back on, not once making eye contact. His mind was buzzing with thoughts, questions, a million things to say and do. It was only after he noticed the smile falling from Raziel's face that he realized he was supposed to actually be speaking. "I'm sorry. I tend to think so much I forget to speak..." How embarrassing. Blushing slightly, he turned his eyes back to his shoes. "I'll help as much as I can, but...I don't actually remember you...so I'm probably not the best option..."

”You are better than nothing. I can’t physically remember the last time I met a fallen but it was over ten years ago .” His smile fell as he glanced out at the ocean. ”And I might have heard of you at sometime, but I don’t remember. I have sort of a memory issue…” he mumbled to himself embarrassed even now that it wasn’t his fault. Or maybe it was, he didn’t know. And he hated the fact that he didn’t know. He wished desperately he could find someone who would be able to fill in all the holes.

”I guess that’s what I get for wanting to be an Arch huh?” he smiled sadly back at the other.

"Wanted to be an Arch? Raziel...you were an Archangel." Mercy frowned at the Fallen before sighing and looking out at the waves. "The Archangel Raziel, Keeper of Secrets, Apprentice to the Seraph Gabriel. It actually makes sense that you wouldn't remember, in all honesty. You knew too much." What doesn't make sense is that I don't remember you at all.... He wrapped his arms around his knees, bringing them up in front of his chest. Several moments later, he returned to reality with a small, almost bitter chuckle. "Better than nothing, eh? Guess that's about the nicest thing anyone's ever said about me..."

Amethyst orbs narrowed as he looked at the other, confused. ”No, I was a Draconian…you know, Second class and the apprentice of Pravuil. Gabriel was my tutor yes, he taught me…..well, everything I used to know. I remember….” his voice softened as a light blush covered his cheeks. ”I remember being so honored to be Gabriel’s student. But…..he was the only one I told. That my dream was to become an arch like he was. To be able to stand alongside of Pravuil and help him properly instead of being seen as a younger that was usually in the way. I dont want to believe that he betrayed me and revieled my secret, because he swore to me that he wouldn't. But that was the reason I was cast out....for wanting to be more than what the Creator had wanted for me...." The smile and blush had faded as he gazed out at the ocean. But when Vassago continued, his head snapped back.

”Oh, gods I'm sorry. I didn’t mean to make it seem like I’m ungrateful, I’m not. I promise.” he blurted out, resting a hand on Vassago’s arm, amethyst orbs bearing into sapphires. “I merely meant that I am grateful for you being here. Because you are truly better than no one at all. Even you can’t help me, your presence…just the fact that you are a Fallen, that you know what it’s like is such a reassurance to me…” A soft smile formed at his lips. “I am exceedingly grateful for your presence, Vassago-san.”

"Then why do all the Fallen remember you as an Archangel, Raziel?" He sighed and shook his head. This...was going to be difficult. And why did the blush that rose to the other's cheeks irritate him? Odd. It wasn't like him to be bothered when someone showed admiration for another... He turned his face away, trying to figure out what was wrong with his brain tonight. First, he finds this Archangel, whom he doesn't remember, familiar. Then, he starts being...jealous might be a decent word for it...when Raziel starts talking about Gabriel. What's my problem?

He was startled from his thoughts by a light touch on his arm. He looked down at Raziel's hand, feeling his own cheeks warm. Oh, no...no...damn it... He jerked his arm away and scooted a couple more inches away from the Archangel. "I was serious, Raziel. Even saying that much is a lot better than what most say about me. I've been told guys would rather be castrated than go to me for help, but they had to go to me, since castration wasn't offered as an alternative." He sighed again. Really, some people were very creative with their insults.

He felt his smile fall, his eyes widen. Was that really why the other Fallen that he had written about were either afraid of him, angry at him, or avoided him altogether? But…..he distinctly remembered being a Draconian. He would have remembered being an arch wouldn’t he? It was, after all, the only thing he truly wanted more than anything. His thoughts were shattered when Vassago jerked away from his hand. He nodded softly, knowing that he really should just leave this topic alone.

”I understand. Please forgive me.” he murmured softly before sitting back down and gazing out at the ocean. ”Do you remember your life?” He asked softly, more to himself than to the other. ”The people you’ve met? The places you’ve been? Those you’ve loved and lost? Do all the fallen have this gap in their memory, or is it…..” his expression fell as he gazed out. He had often wondered this, but none of the fallen that he had encountered, but never remembered, were around long enough for him to ask. ”Hn, the keeper of secrets. You’d think that I would remember at least something as cool as that….”

"Except that it's the reason your memory was erased to begin with..." Mercy sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "We don't remember our past at the start of our Cycle. It takes a while. But we eventually remember everything. Except...I have a feeling there will be gaps in my memory." He shrugged. "A welcome relief if I'm right."

"You don't need me to forgive you. You've done nothing wrong..." He leaned back, praying silently that the redness in his cheeks wasn't noticeable. "How long have you been in Japan?" The Blue Blood glanced at Raziel curiously. His mind started to wander again, and he found himself wondering why the Archangel had blushed earlier when he spoke of Gabriel.

He shrugged, his gaze still far reaching over the horizon. As if it held all the answers he wanted on the other side of the ocean, and all he had to do was find a way to cross the waters and reach them. So close, yet so far. That’s how it’s always been. Hell, they could be right under his nose right now, and he wouldn’t know it. ”I don’t know…..” he murmured softly. There were a lot of things he didn’t know. And he HATED it. Hated it so strongly, stronger than anything he had ever felt anything about. Finally he tore his gaze away from the sea to smile down at the other.

”What about you?”

"Only a few years. I attend one of the nearby academies." He looked up at the Archangel. "What was your relationship with Gabriel? I mean...he was your mentor, yes, but...you act like there was something else..." Mercy sat up suddenly, shaking his head. "I'm sorry. That was a foolish question. I shouldn't have asked." He looked away, holding the bridge of his nose between thumb and forefinger as he silently berated himself over the slip-up. He didn't want to go down this road. These little mistakes, social faux pas... This was the reason the others had been so hasty to set him to exile when Michael gave them a legitimate excuse.

"I really need to think before I speak..."